I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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