playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
