Already got asked if we're dating
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
