A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He felt like a one man threesome
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
