She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
