guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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