my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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