Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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