You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
