How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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