Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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