Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Michael Bay diarrhea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
