Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
smell my finger.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
