Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
