I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
