"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
