How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
