I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
