of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
