i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
one might say we're banned from that church
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
