I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize