Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
