Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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