I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
