I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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