I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
