Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
zippers are such a cool invention
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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