one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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