I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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