So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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