I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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