Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
