I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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