so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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