Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
