I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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