So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
