So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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