If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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