epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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