How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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