Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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