I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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