...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
