It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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