she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
