just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
