What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
