But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
