I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
