i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
