He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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